November 26, 2010

30 Days of Truth: Day 26

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT GIVING UP ON LIFE?  IF SO, WHEN AND WHY?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we've all wanted a way out at one time or another.

I can remember specifically one night.  I was a teenager and I was so so sad.
I thought I was fat and I wanted a boyfriend and couldn't get one and so I figured I was super ugly and my home life wasn't perfect and I really can't remember what was so dramatic that I wanted to end it all but I really did.

I can remember praying that God would just take me home and I could be out of the pain and sadness.  And I seriously thought about doing it myself but then I realized that I probably wouldn't go to heaven if I did.  And then I realized my mom wasn't ready for me to leave yet.  And my brothers and grandparents would be so sad and miss me a lot.

So anyway, moral of the story is that I didn't.  There was always a bigger something worth living for.  And I always thought about how sad my mom and friends would be if I was gone.  And it always kept me here.

And truth be told, my life wasn't bad at all.  I really can't think about what was so bad that would make me even consider ending it.  And maybe that's why.  Me just being hormonal and sad and maybe a little silly.

Thanks for always keeping me here.

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