30 Days of Truth: Day 30

A LETTER TO YOURSELF, TELL YOURSELF EVERYTHING YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF.

A letter to myself.

Dear Camie-
I'd like to start off by saying how fabulous you look today, man you're smokin hot.  And if you don't believe me, well you should because you're totally smokin hot.
I have a few things I'd like to tell you about yourself that I love about you.  Ha ha well obviously you're freaking hilarious.  And quite sarcastic, in case you haven't noticed by now...

Alright, well seriously I love how strong you are.  You can do hard things, very hard things.  You have and almost obsessive nature to make sure things get done and done right.  You are a natural leader and you need to speak up once in awhile.  You are smart and funny and you really do have a lot to offer.  You are pretty cute and you're clothes are always too big.  You need to have more confidence and be proud of who you are and what you've accomplished.  You have beautiful kids and a fantastic hubby who love you and would do anything for you.  You are talented and have a lot of things to accomplish yet so take care of yourself.  And love yourself.  And be happy because you're the coolest kid I know.

Love ya bunches, Camie

30 Days of Truth: Day 29

SOMETHING YOU HOPE TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF AND WHY.

Yeah, as if there's only one thing I'd like to change.  I mean are we talking physical here or what?  Because I'd really like to have a booty.  I have flat butt.  And a smaller waist.  I have man belly.

But seriously, there is something I hope to change about myself and that would be to not let things get to me the way they do.  I worry so so much.  I worry about people and how they are and if they are doing good things and making right choices.  I worry I've offended people and my mind just goes crazy and every little thing adds up and it seriously gets out of hand.  I worry I annoy people and then, again with the crazy.  I worry and stress and take things personally that aren't even meant to be aimed at me.  Does that make any sense?  I hope I can get the crazy under control and just be able to live day to day without the worry that I said something that offended someone and that's why they won't return my text or that I annoy someone and now they won't want to even hang out anymore.  Seriously?!  It sounds so stupid when I write it out like this but really, in my mind, it goes on and I get carried away and assume  the worst and worry and stress.  It's a waste.  So I'm going to be done with that I've decided.  It is lame and I don't wanna be that way anymore.

So look out world!  Here comes the new, more confident Camie!  I'm not going to worry as much about stuff like when I don't hear from someone and worry that they are dead!  Or that my kids are super annoying and that's why we never get invited to play.  No more!  Here we go!  I hope I can do this...  

Yikes.

30 Days of Truth: Day 28

WHAT IF YOU WERE PREGNANT OR GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Okay so, well, the odds of me getting someone pregnant are slim to none, so if I got someone pregnant I'm guessing I'd be doing the talk show circut and become pretty famous.  The medical marval from Wyoming.  Awesome.

If I were pregnant, what would I do?  Well, first I'd be super nauseated all the time and nothing would sound good ever and even the smell of any cooking food would make me wanna loose my lunch.  Then I'd go to the doctor to make sure everything was alright and get a cute picture to take home and put on my fridge.  Then I'd tell some family and friends, you know, just a few.  Then I'd have a migraine headache for like a week only to find out that the medicine the Dr put me on causes headaches.  Then I'd gain some weight and get sad because I've worked so hard to get it off and I'm not even eating as much as I was before and yet the pounds are sneaking right back.  Then I'd probably freak out a little because the odds of me having another boy are pretty high and oh how much would I love to have a daughter.  And I's freak out because, uh, we're running out of room at our house at an alarming rate.  And I'd freak out because we're going to need a new car because there's no way of fitting three car seats into the back of the car we have now.   So I would wonder just what I would do about that because we are seriously so upside down in this stupid car it's ridiculous.  And then I would freak out a tad because, on the off chance that it was a girl, we would have to buy a whole new wardrobe for the little princess, seeing as all the baby clothes I have are blue and green and boy.  And I'd have to pay for the baby.  And I'd gain some more weight.  And I'd probably still be so SUPER nauseated that even water would make me sick.  And then I'd freak out because of all the freaking out and my head would be spinning because of all the freaking out.

And that about catches you up to where I am.

June 16, 2011.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

30 Days of Truth: Day 27

WHATS THE BEST THING GOING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW?


Hmm, I've really got it pretty good.  It might be hard for me to narrow it down to just one thing.  
I mean I get to stay home and play with my kids all day.  
I have a super amazing hubby who works his brains out in order for me to be able to do so.    
I have two kids who rock my socks most of the time.  Sometimes they're whiny and loud, but I sure love 'em.  
I have fantastic, fabulous friends who keep me sane and give me plenty of adult conversation.  I would be dead in the water without those girls.  Don't know how I got along without them for so long.  
I have a family who loves me and takes care of me when I need it.  My parents, brothers and sisters-in-law, Gramma, cousins, aunts and uncles, in laws, seriously the best family a girl could ask for.  
And it's Christmastime!!  I love love this time of year and I am so excited for this year for some reason.  Everything is more exciting and fresh and I'm seriously stoked.

So what's the best thing going for me right now?  Gosh, I just don't even know where to start.

30 Days of Truth: Day 26

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT GIVING UP ON LIFE?  IF SO, WHEN AND WHY?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we've all wanted a way out at one time or another.

I can remember specifically one night.  I was a teenager and I was so so sad.
I thought I was fat and I wanted a boyfriend and couldn't get one and so I figured I was super ugly and my home life wasn't perfect and I really can't remember what was so dramatic that I wanted to end it all but I really did.

I can remember praying that God would just take me home and I could be out of the pain and sadness.  And I seriously thought about doing it myself but then I realized that I probably wouldn't go to heaven if I did.  And then I realized my mom wasn't ready for me to leave yet.  And my brothers and grandparents would be so sad and miss me a lot.

So anyway, moral of the story is that I didn't.  There was always a bigger something worth living for.  And I always thought about how sad my mom and friends would be if I was gone.  And it always kept me here.

And truth be told, my life wasn't bad at all.  I really can't think about what was so bad that would make me even consider ending it.  And maybe that's why.  Me just being hormonal and sad and maybe a little silly.

Thanks for always keeping me here.

30 Days of Truth: Day 25

THE REASON YOU BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE TODAY

Uh because I haven't been struck down down by a horrible deadly disease yet knock on wood.

What the heck kind of question is this!?

No really.  I'm still alive because I'm not dead.

And when I'm dead, I'll be dead.

Sorry, no posting from the great beyond.

However, how freakin cool would THAT be?!

Yeah, I gotta find a way to make it happen.

I'll have been dead a week or a month or so and then all of a sudden WHAMO!

Blog post from me.

And it will be all about heaven and how sweet it is and how much Maverik Frozen Yogurt is up there.

And how smokin hot my body is now.

But what if you can't read it because heaven's WIFI is no bueno.

So it;s all encrypted and just a bunch of nonsense.

Like this:

sdhfuiewehuf&&&@)ndjakwO!) uufejkwjdenUG^^^*#EHdjsiqn@e(en#*ru#**#(@@(!))!)!n JEI N298R

Spooky.


So look for that.

I'm pretty sure I'll be able to make it happen.

Because if there's Maverik Frozen Yogurt up there, there's got to be a way for me to post on my blog, am I right?

Right.




Okay, well the reason I believe I'm still around is because my kids would make horrible orphans and they fo shizzle need their mama.

I gotta big job ahead of me.

And that's why I'm still alive.


But seriously.

There are a few questions I have when I get up there.

Like where the freak is Amelia Earhart?

And why are there earwigs?

And what the crap is with armpits?

And as soon as I ask the burning questions, expect a post from me.

dfhukjse dschsk ksdfc slcjslcndofsjlfc jdlfcsdjf s

Better start learning how to encode now.

30 Days of Truth: Day 24

MAKE A PLAYLIST TO SOMEONE, AND EXPLAIN WHY YOU CHOSE ALL THE SONGS

Ha you'd think I'd be super good at this one.  But I have no idea what to do here.  I mean, music is such a personal thing and a song I adore could be annoying to someone else.  Plus I'm away from home and my music is on my home computer... Okay well, first let's figure out who I'm making said playlist for.  Let's say I'm making a playlist for someone to explain who I am?  Would that be a goos one?  Alright.  Done.

Money, Money, Money by Abba- I adore Abba, I have ever since I was a child listening to my Mom's records.  And this song is one of my favorites.  Just awesome.
Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds to Mars- I know, you don't have to tell me.  But I can't help it, this song just speaks to me, it always has.  I lurve it and probably always will.
I Will by The Beatles- Really, anything by the Beatles, but this one is an all time favorite.  The Beatles have really been a huge part of my life since my early, early teens and I have so many fond memories from those times.  Ahh, those long bus trips with my Walkman.  I know, I was so cool.
Breath by Breaking Benjamin- This band has some kind of power over me, I seriously can't get enough.  But this song in particular is so powerful and it's really a good sort of love song.  And I could listen to it over and over and over.  And I want to lick the lead singer's face a little.
Any Dave Matthews Band Song- I know, cheating.  But it's honestly like asking me to choose my favorite kid.  I love all the Dave Matthews Band songs...well not all of them, but the list of the ones I don't like would be way short.  So yes.  Moving on.
Come Original by 311- Just a feel good party song.  When I was in college, it was our "Hump day" song, which means we would play it really loud on Wednesdays while we jumped on the beds...what?  Isn't that what everyone did?
The Distance by Evan and Jaron- Thom and I were apart for a lot of our relationship.  This song basically sums up how I felt about the whole situation.  It still makes me cry to this day.
I Will Buy You A New Life by Everclear- How cool would it be to have someone love you that much?  I mean I happen to have someone who does, but this song is just a sweet little love song that I love.
The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaleson- How cute is this song?  No really.  I like Ingrid a ton, but I adore this song.  Its sweet and fun and full of love and a little sexy.  No?
Don't Stop The Music by Jamie Cullum- Have you heard this guy?!  He's amazing.  He is such a phenomenal musician and when I feel like getting my jazz on, he's right there.  But wait!  That's not a jazz song!  That's a Rihanna song!  And Radiohead!  And isn't that from a musical?  But wait!  It's all jazzy and whatnot!  Seriously, fantastic.
You and I by Jason Mraz- I am just a big ol' sucker for the love songs I suppose. This one is a classic I suppose, but man oh man can that Jason Mraz write the crap out of those songs!!
Read My Mind By The Killers- Brandon Flowers can read my mind anytime.  And when he does he'll probably see some pretty naughty thoughts.  Ha ha oh I kid, I kid...mostly...
The Sun by Maroon 5- I bought this album way before Maroon 5 was cool.  I mean I bought it and listened to it was was blown away with what was going on musically.  Holy crap those guys are insane amazing musicians!  Plus, hi, can someone please tell me how to slip sex into coffee?  Because that has got to be a fantastic trick.
Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson- There is nothing like cranking a little Michale Jackson and dancing your brains out, I don't care who you are!
Supermassive Black Hole by Muse- Ahh, there is just something about a song that is both sexy and sensual and kind of a slam at the same time.  You gotta love it!  LOVE IT!!
Say (All I Need) by OneRepublic- The melody of this song makes my heart happy.  I can't tel you what it is exactly, but the first time I heard this song I was sold.  It is just beautiful melodically and the lyrics are pretty thought provoking as well.
Excess Baggage by Staind- This song got me through a few of the roughest times of my life.  It raw and honest and stripped down to nothing but the honest truth.  Man oh man, Staind knows how to do it right.
Red Ragtop by Tim McGraw- I do dive into the country now and again.  And this man can sing a song right.  And this song is kinda sad and sweet at the same time.  And it's funny that it's about a girl being pregnant the first time her mother meets her boyfriend and my brother suggested it be sung at my wedding. And that is hilarious.
Drops of Jupiter by Train- There was a time when I wasn't exaclty sure what I was going to do with my life and this song sort of helped me find my way.  I know, it sounds silly, but listen a little closer next time, you might catch it.
At Last by Etta James- This little ditty makes me happy.  I love love and I love happy.
Closer by Nine Inch Nails- What?  This is sort of Thom and my song.  No really!  We danced to it right before we kissed for the first time.  Ha ha it sounds so stupid to say that!  But it's true.  And it has a nasty theme and naughty words, but I have the version where the naughty words are bleeped out by the Mario Brother's shooting sound.  So it is all good.

30 Days of Truth: Day 23

SOMETHING YOU WISH YOU HAD DONE IN YOUR LIFE

I'm pretty pleased with the way my life has turned out so far.  There's really not a whole lot that I wish I would have done.  There are a few things that I wonder about though.  I mean, stuff that I wonder what it would have been like had I done them.  But it's not like I lay awake at night regretting not doing them, just so we're clear here.

I wish I would have gone to Montana and worked with Missoula Children's Theatre.  It was always a dream of mine and I just never did it.

I wish I would have finished school before I had kids.  But, the thing is, I really didn't know what I wanted to do until after I had kids.  So...kind of a catch 22 there.

I wish I would have kept my hair long after I got married.  I was far too fat to be sporting such a short do.  Ug, those pictures haunt me.

I wish I would have been more appreciative of my Gramma Izatt while she was alive.  I was kind of a shy and quiet kid and I didn't really appreciate my Gramma.  I miss her and wish I would have realized what I had in her.

Yeah, that's about all I've got.  Nothing too life shattering.  Or is it earth shattering.  Either way, I basically love my life and wouldn't wanna change a thing.

30 Days of Truth: Day 22

SOMETHING YOU WISH YOU HADN'T DONE IN YOUR LIFE.  


Yikes.  Anyone want to meet the skeletons in my closet?  Well come on in!


No really.  There are a lot of things I could put here.  A lot.  And most of them could potentially change the way a few of you look at me.  Things that may or may not surprise you about me.


So if you love me just the way I am you'd better stop reading now lest your views be ever changed.  


Still here?  Alrighty, lets go.


I wish I hadn't been so unconditionally trusting in people.
I wish I hadn't been so unhappy alone that I always felt I needed a boyfriend.
I wish I hadn't  been so unhappy with the way I looked that I felt the need to starve myself and other such nasty self hating things.
I wish I had never taken that first sip of alcohol.
I wish I hadn't blown off my mom's advice.
I wish I hadn't been the one who couldn't keep their mouth shut.
I wish I hadn't been so quick to judge.
I wish I hadn't been so afraid of confrontation that I lied, only to make things much worse down the road.
I wish I hadn't given in so quickly.
I wish I hadn't been the one to act a fool.
I wish I hadn't felt like I needed to be right there.
I wish I hadn't stopped and changed course.
I wish I hadn't pretended to be someone I'm not.


I'm sorry for being so cryptic here.  It would be the world's longest post if I went into each and every one of these.  For real.  And I know it looks like I regret a lot of stuff, but some of them deal with the same thing...a little.


Anyway if you really want to know about anything, just ask.  I'm pretty much an open book here.


I'm positive that each and every statement above happened for a reason and has formed me into the rockin' mama I am, so for that I am grateful.  


I guess I wish the road from there to here would have been a little less rocky.


But then again, would I be who I am if there had been no bumps at all?  


Gosh, this is all too deep for a Monday night.  I'd better get outta here!

30 Days of Truth: Day 21

YOUR BEST FRIEND IS IN A CAR ACCIDENT RIGHT AFTER YOU TWO FIGHT.  WHAT DO YOU DO?

Ha well this question is a hoot because I don't generally fight with my best friends.  I don't fight with my friends in general.  I usually save my fights for family.  I know, giving the least to those who matter most, you don't have to tell me.

Okay, well, let's suppose my best friend IS in a wreck after we have a fight.  I would feel so guilty. Oh so very guilty.  And I would cry a lot.  And I would seriously be right there, at the scene, hospital, anywhere.  I'm kind of a baby like that.  

This question kinda sucks because I really don't want to think about anyone I love getting hurt.  Know that I would be very sad and apologetic and  be there to do anything for them.

But enough of this sad nonsense!  It's the holiday season!  Allow me now to distract you with this instead...

Now SHE need to be my best friend.

30 Days of Truth: Day 20

YOUR VIEW ON DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

I don't do drugs.  Or drink alcohol.  I know, I am a party animal.  But just because I don't doesn't mean I know nothing about them.

I think that drugs suck.  I think they can destroy families and lives.  I think that the people who get involved heavily in drugs are sad and confused souls.  I've seen some amazing people turn into, well, basically toothless zombies.  Poor toothless zombies at that because I know one thing, drugs aren't cheap.  I think that putting drugs before your own life is reckless and selfish.  And it breaks my heart with every story I hear, every old friend I see that has chosen that way of life.

Alcohol can have the same effect of people, this is true.  They are sort of in the same category.  I think that alcohol is an easy escape for problems, a way for shy people to come out of their shell, a social activity, a way to unwind.  I think it's abused more that we like to think.  I think its incredibly dangerous and can make someone feel like they "need" it to be themselves.  Yeah, a lot the same as drugs.

I think that people participating in either needs to be super careful.  There's a fine line between a "girls night out" and going out every night with the girls.  I think that they're not for me, but I mean, again, everybody's allowed to do what they want.  It's fun to hang out with friends and watch them get all crazy and let your guard down for a little while.  It's not okay to let something have control over you or make you sacrifice your home or family or life for it.

I think Mr. Mackey said it best when he said, “M’kay, kids, drugs are bad. You shouldn't do drugs. If you do them, you’re bad, because drugs are bad. It’s a bad thing to do drugs, so don’t be bad by doing drugs, m’kay?  That’d be bad

30 Days of Truth: Day 19

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF RELIGION?  OR WHAT DO YOU THINK OF POLITICS?  

This could be a bit of a loaded question, or questions as it is.  Seriously?  What do I think of religion or politics?  I think that they are both taboo topics when cutting hair, thats for sure.  Basically taboo topics around most folks, actually.

I think religion is fine.  I think it's great.  I think that if you can find one that works for you, then good for you!  Awesome!  Stick with it.  Do I think it's for everyone?  Oh heavens no.  And thats okay.  Some people are better suited for "organized religion" as the case may be, and some aren't.  And, again, that's what makes the world so amazing.

I know that some people think that it would be super awesome and amazing if everyone thought the same and believed the same things and all went to the same church. I think it might get incredibly boring and dull.  I mean a good ruffling of one's feathers is good now and then, don't you think?  It makes you think, makes you stand up for what you believe is right.  I'm not saying you should fight about religion, nothing could be further from the truth!  But to be able to have a conversation about why you believe what you believe because is good.  I think that if it's never challenged then someone could get complacent and even pompous.

I feel like I'm reiterating yesterday's post, so I'll stop.  They basically go hand in hand  though.  Love and respect your neighbor and what they believe, hopefully they'll do the same.  

And if they don't, well, love them anyway...it'll drive them crazy!

Friday Confessional: Weight Smaight

Hi guys.  Aren't you sick of me yet?!  I mean I've been here every day for weeks now!  Mad props to those of you sticking with me.  Maybe I should make some cookies or something.  Anyway, onto this week's confessional.

• I have fallen off the wagon.
• Again.
• I was doing so dang good on the diet,
• losing weight
• looking good better
• but I only have so much willpower I suppose.
• And, after all, I do have my reasons,
• and they are pretty good, I think.
• I mean for one, for awhile there I was eating only shakes and yogurt
• as a result of the wisdom teeth removal.
• So, perhaps, I lost a few lbs because I wasn't eating regularly
• and then when I resumed, I gained 'em right back.
• So technically, it's like they were always there.
• Yeah?
• I think I'm going with that.
• Plus, well, I'm basically eating crap.
• And by crap, I mean crap.
• Not poo
• Crap.
• So really, what do I expect?
• Bah it will all come out in the wash, I suppose.
• Speaking of eating like crap, Thanksgiving is coming up
• I'm excited.
• Big family event this year.
• I love it!
• We seriously are a troop.
• We have to have dinner at a church.
• I've got 8 aunts and uncles.
• And 48-ish cousins
• plus spouces
• and kids.
• It's a PARTY!!
• And I haven't seen a lot of them in a really long time!
• So yipee!
• I think Izacc and I are making some crafts tomorrow to bring.
• You know, some place cards, maybe a turkey cup or something.
• I don't know, the kid has been dying to do them all week.
• I've been putting him off
• not because I don't want to do it
• but because I'm afraid of the lifespan of such things in our house.
• Baby Ian is a bit of a terrorist
• albeit a cute terrorist
• a terrorist nonetheless.
• He likes to rip Izacc's preschool work 
• and pull the glued on parts off
• and basically torments him relentlessly.
• Baby Ian.
• Izacc's school is having a freaking sweet Thanksgiving Feast on Monday.
• I have to bring 10 lbs of diced potatoes.
• I looked at the menu.
• I don't think there was a thing on there that the boy will eat.
• And I think he's supposed to dress up like a pilgrim or Indian.
• I think he should be a turkey.
• I suggested it.
• He rolled his eyes and said, "Maw-hm! (two syllables)  Turkey don't wear clothes!"
• True dat, boy, they sure don't.
• Good point.
• The boy's four year old I tell you.
• It's really all downhill from here.
• Oh boy, I'm doomed.
• Where did I put those Doritos?!

So go read.  And play.  You won't regret it!  Promise!!

30 Days of Truth: Day 18

YOUR VIEWS ON GAY MARRIAGE

Yes, shall we go there on my tiny, insignificant blog?  Wow, hopefully I won't lose any readers/family/friends over this one.  But lets go there.

Gay marriage.  Who the crap am I to say anything about gay marriage?  Do people sit around and talk about not gay marriage as much as they talk about gay marriage?  I think not.   Okay so here are my thoughts.

I am for love.  I am for happiness.  I am not for hate.  I am not for fear.  I have been lucky enough to find love in this life and I snagged him right up.  We got hitched and never looked back.  Was everyone happy with my choice?  No.  Did it upset/disappoint some?  Yeah.  Did I make a mistake?  Heck no I didn't.  I know that from the bottom of my soul I made the right decision.

It was a tad unconventional for some.  It was perfectly normal for others.  Did anyone say to me, "Hey, actually, you and he cannot get married because you are not of the same religion.  Sorry"  Nope.  Because you can't say that.  You can try and persuade people one way or another, but the bottom line is that the person is free to make their own decisions.  Religion, race, background bears no weight on who you can or cannot marry.

Ah ha, but there's the problem, am I right?  Because gender seems to matter.  And, you know, it really shouldn't.  I think that if you are lucky enough, as I was, to find your love in this life you should have every right to get hitched as you please.  Love is love and people are just people.  We, as people, really have no right to judge one another. Period.

So where do we run into a problem?  Because as far as I can tell, no one on this earth has been chosen to be the judge of anyone.  Pretty sure that's all going to be taken care of later and by a much wiser and fair person, someone who knows all sides of the story.  All we can do is live our best lives while we're here.  And by that I mean let's just love one another, no?  And be happy.  And let others be happy because, really, why not?  Doesn't everyone have that basic right?

I offer this suggestion.  If you think marriage should be between a man and a woman, fine.  Believe that and stand by it.  But really own it and take responsibility for your own beliefs.  Believe for yourself, find out for yourself. Don't blindly follow just because it's what everyone else is doing! Don't just say you believe that because you've been told that's what's right.  There is nothing wrong with believeing one way or another.  But also know that what's good for you might not be what's good for your neighbor.  Or friend.  Don't you think it would be totally creepy and weird if we all held the exact same beliefs about everyhing and all had the same mindset?!  Ew.  It's a little too Stepford for me.  So let us have our differences.

BUT let's not infringe upon everyone else's beliefs in the process.  If you don't like what someone has to say, ignore it.  If you don't like what a church believes, then don't go to that church.  If you disagree with someone, then agree to disagree.  Every single person in this entire world is allowed to have their own belief system and that is another basic right.  NO ONE CAN TELL ME WHAT TO BELIEVE.  Just like no one can tell you what to believe.

If I make a statement that I hate pickles, I don't expect to see protesters outside my door demanding that I change my mind.  If I think that members of the LGBT community have every right to be married, I should be able to vote that way without receiving public persecution.

So what I'm getting at here, people, is that there is seriously way way WAY too much hatred in this world,  hatred and fear.  And to be perfectly honest, I think we've got way bigger problems on our hands and there's just no room for that crap.  We all need to be more loving and accepting.  Every person is different, and every person has the right to be different.  And that's what makes this entire experience so great.  And I hope to be able to raise my kids in a world where people have figured this out and are happy and loving and peaceful and accepting.  A world where they're allowed to stand up for what they believe is right without being protested or hated.  A world where they can say to one another, hey you know what?  That's not how I feel, but you're totally cool.  


I hope that I can teach them to be people who believe what they believe and know why they believe it.  And even if it's not popular or what every one else is doing, I hope I teach them that they are allowed to color outside the lines and be who they want to be.  And I hope the world is ready because let me tell you, these kids of mine are going to blow your minds.


So yeah.  I'm for love.  And I'm for peace.  And I'm for happiness and fairness and living and let living.


And I hope you are too.


Sorry if I sound like a hippy...maybe I am at heart...thanks mom!  :)

30 Days of Truth: Day 17

A BOOK YOU'VE READ THAT CHANGED YOUR VIEWS ON SOMETHING.

I really wish I had a great answer for this.  Let me tell you one thing about me: I sometimes suck at life.  I haven't read a book in over a year.  Actually, I think the last book I read was back in September of 08.   So yeah, it's a good thing I'm not being judged on my reading because I would be failing miserably.  I would love to read more.  I actually love reading.  It's that I'm kind of a book snob.  I'll start a book and if I'm not feeling it, I quit reading.  So I've started quite a few since then, I just haven't found one worth finishing.

The one I would say changed my views on something would probably be The Host by Stephenie Meyer.  Wanna know what it changed my view on?  Me ever reading a science fiction novel, that's what.  Who'd a thunk I would read (and love) a science fiction?!?  No seriously. I you know me you know that's just not my style.  And I cried when it was done.  No, I cried before it was done.  I was reading and crying and then it was over and I was all  "NOOOO!!  Now what am I going to read?!"

A science fiction book?!  Really?!  Yes.  In fact, I probably read and re-read the first few chapters five or six times before I got into it.  See?  Here's where the book snobbery comes into play.  I would read it and be all "What?!" and stop.  Then I's start again and not remember what was going on because I wasn't paying attention.  So I'd start again and understand and be all "WHAT?!?"  And on and on this went.

What was different about this book you ask?  Why did I keep picking it up and giving it another chance?  Because my sweet cousin Jeni is the one who recommended it to me and I trust her opinion a lot.  She's a book snob too, but on the opposite end of the spectrum.  She reads everything before she decides how she feels about it.  Her book collection is seriously to die for.  Aw, I love her.

So maybe that's the ticket.  Having a book approved for me by my dear friends and family.

Alright, so anybody know of any good books?  I really need a good read.

30 Days of Truth: Day 16

SOMEONE OR SOMETHING YOU DEFINITELY COULD LIVE WITHOUT


Wow.  I could give you a list 4 miles long on crap I could live without.
You know, like bills and poopy diapers and pickles.
Okay, maybe stuff a little less trivial
Like world hunger and homophobia and and hate.
Or are we looking for a someone I could live without here?
Like Michael Moore and Rachael Ray and Lindsay Lohan.
Alright I get it.  We want a real honest to goodness answer here.
So what, exactly, is going to top my list of things I could live without?
I'm going to have to say television people.
Cable television to be more specific.
I hate TV.  Hate hate hate!
We lived here for 3 years and were fine.  FINE.
We watched DVDs.
And rented or bought the TV seasons of the shows we liked.
And my kids had other things to do.
But, well, we decided
(and by WE I mean THOM)
to finally bite the bullet last month. We got cable.
And I've hated my life ever since.
It rules your life.
It tells you when to watch.
It gets you to watch shows you would have normally never watched just to get to your show.
It sucks you in with America's Next Top Model marathons.
It teaches you kid to want every toy he sees in every commercial.
Not only want it but be able to ask for it by it's entire name.
Like "the new Transformers Battle Ops Bumblebee."
Not kidding.
That was the entire name he told us.
Oh the things it teaches those dang kids!
And, not only that, but I actually feel guilty when we don't watch it.
It's like we went without for so long and got used to our other means.
But now that we have it and are actually paying for it, well, now we'd better be using it!
It's ridiculous.
I'm ridiculous.
Oh TV.  You're basically the devil.
And I love you.
And I love to hate you.
The end

PS Yeah, I am 100% aware that my husband works in the field of TV.
Yeah, I know this post is totally sacrilegious to him and his professional life.
Whatever, don't let him fool you.
He loves to hate TV too...
or not...
but either way, he can get his own blog!

30 Days of Truth: Day 15

SOMETHING OR SOMEONE YOU'VE TRIED TO LIVE WITHOUT, AND CAN'T.

Dude, I've been thinking all day about this one and I've seriously got nothing.  Nothin I say!
So maybe the best answer here is sugar.  I have given it up 4 or 5 times and I always come crawling back. In my defense, however, I always went crawling back when I got pregnant, sooo I am not fully to blame, right?  I mean right?!  You know, pregnant ladies and those cravings?!
Yeah, I know, total cop out.  But that's what I'm going with.  Sugar.
Oh and Diet Mountain Dew.  Why can't I quit you?!





Oh, and lest I forget, this guy.

30 Days of Truth: Day 14

A HERO THAT HAS LET YOU DOWN.

Oh Jessica.

We've gone through a lot together, you and I.

I can remember sitting in my college apartment being so jealous of you.

You were gorgeous.

You were engaged to this guy.

You guys even did a freakin song together!   And it was so cute and sweet and sappy!

You had a rockin hot body

And then you got married.  

And you even saved yourself for marriage!!  What?!?!  Who does that?!  I love it!!

 So I thought you were pretty much awesome.

And your voice was everything I wanted mine to be.

And then you guys did an show on MTV.

And it was so stupidly addicting!!  I loved it!!
You were so lame and funny and kinda stupid.
And you had this cutesy little yummy line of cuteness.

You were the one who convinced me to go on South Beach Diet the first time.  Because hey, if you went on it and looked like this, so could I right?!

Yeah, not so much.
I lost a bunch so thanks for that.  But then I had a baby. So meh.

But then, what the what?!

What are you doing, lady?!

And geting rid of this fella?!

And what in the crap was this about?!

Oh sweet Jessica.

How you make me sad.
You are basically dead to me I'm afraid.

Images via

30 Days of Truth: Day 13

A BAND OR ARTIST THAT HAS GOTTEN YOU THROUGH SOME TOUGH ASS DAYS.

Oh baby.  As many of you know, music is my life.  This post could go on for days and days.
Alright.   Here we go.
In jr. high, well, you know how that all goes, right?  Basically the most awkward and odoriferous time of childhood?  You don't know who you are, you don't know who you can trust, you don't know what the CRAP is going on with your body.  It's not so fun, wouldn't want to do it again.
So, you know, while a lot of kids my age were listening to heavy metal and smoking,wanna know what I was doing?
Yeah.  I was in my basement bedroom acting out "Phantom of the Opera"...by myself...



Yeah, I was all sorts of awesome.

Lets not dwell.

But, I was MAD into show tunes.  For quite a few years, actually.  It seriously got me through a lot of hard times to just disappear into the music.

And then I discovered Dave Matthews Band.



And my life was complete.
Not kidding.
Their music got me through a lot, including my sweet Momma having breast cancer.




Their music has always spoken to me, both lyrically and melodically.
I can remember all the concerts I went to, all the new albums I bought.
They had a lot to do with my growing up.
And I think I turned out pretty kick a**.



Oh and lest you think I'm a mellow hippy-loving pot-smokin jam band listening girl, oh I'm not.
There was a very hard time I went through a few years back.  Not good, not happy.  The thing that helped me get through it and get over it was this band, and this song, more specifically.




And there are so many others and times I could tell you about. Maybe someday.  But for now, listen and enjoy.

And don't judge me!
I am a totally fabulous conglomeration of awesomeness.

30 Days of Truth: Day 12

SOMETHING YOU NEVER GET COMPLIMENTS ON.

Ha ha yeah.
No on ever says, "Gosh, Cam.  You're WAY too skinny!"
Or "Camie, you have the greatest fashion sense!"

This is a weird question.  There is TONS of stuff I never get complimented on and that's probably because it's not something meant to be complimented.

Okay,  so I'm thinking it's meant to mean something you think is pretty great and no one else sees the need to compliment you on it.  Hmmm...I honestly can't think of a dang thing here because I hang out with some pretty fantastic people.

You know how women can be catty?  I don't know if it's like a competition or something that makes themselves feel better, but women can be down right rude.   I think that if someone is wearing something cute, tell them!  If they look fabulous, tell them!  If they do something that is amazing, TELL THEM!!

So the moral of the story here is that I have a group of friends who seem to believe in this philosophy as well.   There is honestly nothing I can think of that is pretty fantastic about myself that has not been complimented on once or twice.  So thanks, girls, for always lifting me up and giving me those compliments, even if I don't feel I deserve them.

And PS next time tell me how skinny I am.
It MAY be a tiny lie, but it would sure make me fell better!!

30 Days of Truth: Day 11

SOMETHING PEOPLE SEEM TO COMPLIMENT YOU THE MOST ON.


Is it a compliment when someone tells you how tall you are?  I get that a lot, you know, as if I don't already know how the freak tall I am.


People seem to compliment me the most on my good lookin face, apparently.  I get told I'm pretty a lot.  I don't see it, but you know, that kinda goes back to day 1 here.  So thanks, ya'll.  Izacc tells me I'm beautiful all the time and we all know kids don't lie right?  Right?!


I also get complimented on my attention to detail a lot.  You know me and my mad party planning ways!  I do love it and it shows I suppose.


Izacc told me tonight, "Mom, I'm glad you're my family."


I personally think that's the best compliment I've ever had.

30 Days of Truth: Day 10

SOMEONE YOU NEED TO LET GO, OR WISH YOU DIDN'T KNOW.




I kinda think I'm not going to answer this one simply because the person I would be describing may or may not read my blog.  I can't be sure.  So for safety's sake, I think I'm taking a bye here.


I am a person with a HUGE heart.  I have a lot of sympathy for people.  More so in my younger years as I have lived and learned the ways of some people.  But I have always been very accepting of most people. Sometimes people who I really don't want to be friends with.  Sometime said people drain me dry with phone calls and having me listen incessantly while they go on and on about things I could seriously give two craps about.  So, sometimes I don't answer my phone.  Or respond to emails.  Or texts.  Fine.  The problem is that I am a bad, bad friend because sometimes I also forget.  Sometimes you are a true friend and I get a message and forget to call you back!  Or write you back!  I get easily distracted!  But what happens is sometimes I sit idly by as friendships drift away.  Sometimes I just don't want to go out.  Sometimes I don't want to talk.  I know, right?  I'm not sure why I do this. I love being social and I love to talk. But I learned from a very young age that I am not the girl who needs a companion to go to the bathroom.  I'm okay by myself sometimes.  It does not mean I don't value a friendship. I am just a moody female who likes to be alone sometimes.  And I will admit that since the invention of texting, my friendships have held up a lot better.  A lot!  And the thing that gets me the most is that the one or two people that I'm really trying to dis and get rid of don't seem to get the point.  Don't worry, dear friends, odds are that if you are reading this I am not talking about you!!  I'm almost positive this person doesn't frequent my blog...but you know...you can't be too careful.  So I'm sorry if I'm a crappy friend!  I don't try to be!  I don't know what my problem is sometimes.  I guess is that what I'm trying to say here is I'm sorry for forgetting to call you  back.  Or text.  Or email.  I really do love my friends and even those I'd like to let slip away I will always have a soft spot in my heart for.  I'm just flawed.  So keep trying.  I know I suck sometimes but I really do love ya!! 

30 Days of Truth: Day 9

SOMEONE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO LET GO, BUT JUST DRIFTED.




I have a few friends like this.  I hate that.  But, you know I also hate to admit it, but thanks to Facebook I have been able to keep up with people I thought were long gone, so that's kinda nice.


But I had a beautiful friend named Maricella.  We met in Laramie when I went to a summer math and science program.  (Mock me if you will, but I was a smarty pants.)  She was my roommate.  And I loved her.  She was so quiet and soft spoken but hilarious!  And I went 5 weeks without knowing that she spoke Spanish!  I was struggling through my beginning Spanish course and there she was, the WHOLE TIME, able to speak perfect fluent Spanish.


We kept in touch through high school and then got to be in a summer program two years later.  We had the best times!  She was so different from anyone I'd ever met.  She was so beautiful!  I always envied how gorgeous she was. 


We hung out a few times after college.  She was a bridesmaid at my wedding.  And I miss her so so much.  I hope she is well and I would love to be close again.  But you know how things go.  Time goes by, you miss a lot.  Pretty soon you're acquaintances and it's just not the same.  


I sure miss your face, Miss Sanchez!  Love you!!

30 Days of Truth: Day 8

SOMEONE WHO MADE YOUR LIFE HELL, OR TREATED YOU LIKE SHIZ.


Yeah, it wasn't hard to come up with this one.  It is kind of a long story, though.  So snuggle in, get some cocoa and listen up.

I was in beauty school after I got my degree from college.  I knew no one.  I can remember I would go home and just cry and cry because I had no friends and I was ridiculously and painfully shy.  I didn't know how to talk to people.  I didn't know how to start a conversation.  It was sad, really.

Then one day a girl came up to me and started talking.  I thought she was really young, like 18 or so, which is kinda funny because she was actually 28 at the time.  She was LDS.  She was talkative.  She was funny.  We became fast friends and that was that.  We hung after school and on the weekends.  I got to know her parents and family.  She knew about my situations and didn't judge me.  She was seriously my only friend in town.  We saw each other basically every day.  She was like my best friend.  She was going to do my hair for my wedding.  She didn't.

She did something that I didn't agree with.  In fact it pissed me off so bad I didn't know what to do with myself.  You see, in beauty school you have a certain number of haircuts, perms, nail sets, etc that are to be done per week.  We were in charge of getting the work we did signed off by our instructor and then turned in.  She TOLD me that she was signing off her own stuff and turning it in.  My world was shattered.  I cried and prayed about it and seriously didn't know what to do.  So finally I took it to the teacher.  I thought I was doing the right thing.  I was standing up for what I knew was fair and right.  I didn't want her to get busted and kicked out, but I didn't want her to get through by cheating either.   I was seriously between a rock and a hard place.

Well the teacher wasn't very smooth and instead of waiting for a forged signature to show up in the turned in pile, she told this girl that someone told on her.  She of course denied it.  And knew who told because, obviously, she only told one person.  Hello.  Me.  The narc.

So from that day on my life was hell.  She had every single girl in that school turned against me.  Every single one.  I busted her talking crap about me at one point and it was just ugly.  I hate my life, I hated going to school.  Thank goodness I only had a few weeks left until I reached my hours because it was the worst time of my life.

I got thinking about the span of our friendship and realized she really hadn't been that great of friend to me.  She would used me a lot.  Like I once skipped school to drive to Laramie with her and sat in the car for 2 hours alone so she could make out with her then boyfriend.  She was just one of those people who would talk your ear off and want you to be there for them, but when it came to me and my life and things I had to say, it was hit or miss on whether or not she was listening.  There were quite a few times I just stopped talking in the middle of a story and she didn't even notice.  She always messed up my hair whenever she cut it...or styled it.  Once she burned a chunk right off.  And I later found out that she had only befriended me because she knew I was inactive and wanted to get me to come back to church.  I was a project to her.

I went through a lot of pain because of this whole situation.  It really hurt that this girl who was my only friend for the better part of two years was suddenly gone.  It was like a breakup.  We've all gone through those, right?  Yeah.  It hurt.  And I was scared to go shopping for fear of seeing her.  So I sat home and went to work and that was basically it.  It was awful and hard and I hope I never have to go through that feeling again.  I was mad and hurt and sad and I hated myself and I hated her and I hated that I hated her because she was my friend and I loved her.

And you know what?  I still miss her.  Yeah, she was a sucky friend at times.  Yeah, she treated me like major shiz and made me a whole lotta enemies.  But I still think about her and wonder how she is and if she's married and what's been going on.  I know, my ever forgiving heart.  We have not kept in touch, as you may guess.

It has taken me a long time to get over it, to be able to drive into Cheyenne without my heart sinking into my stomach.  And that sucks because there were a lot of other people from school that I would have liked to keep in touch with that now think I'm the most evil person on earth.  Lame.  But in all seriousness, would you want someone cutting your hair that cheated their way through school?!  Yeah,  me either.

30 Days of Truth: Day 7

SOMEONE WHO HAS MADE YOUR LIFE WORTH LIVING FOR.




I am almost positive that this one goes without saying.  I love my parents.  I love my little brothers.  I love my husband dearly and more than anything on earth, but my life wasn't really worth anything until

these two little bundles dropped into my life. 

And by dropped, of course, I mean forcefully shoved.

 I really had no idea what life was really about until I met this little face. 

And then, again, when this other little face looked into my eyes.

You know, you can talk about depression and all the hard things it brings.

These boys have indeed saved my life.

They make me look forward to each new day.

They make me want to live.

They make me want to be a better person.

A better mom, a better friend, a better woman.

They make me feel alive.

They make me want to take care of myself so I'll be around to see all the good they're going to bring into the world.

Izacc loves me.  He is concerned for me when I'm upset.  He always gives me hugs and kisses.  He cuddles with me when we watch TV.  He is very sweet and will do anything for me...as long as he WANTS to of course.  He has very good manners and mostly remembers when to use them.

Ian loves me.  He is very protective of me.  If anyone is tickling me or pestering me, he gets personally offended and cries.  He sometimes wants no one but his mom.  He melts my heart with his deep eyes and little smile.  And his speech is coming right along, and his "bove voo" and a kiss will make you crumble.

I never dreamed I would be a boymom.  

I always just assumed I would have a daughter somewhere in the mix.

Perhaps someday I will.

However, being the mom of these two brothers has made my life worth living.

They're sweetness, they're sense of humor, they're unique ability to annoy each other while making each other laugh has been such a joy to witness and be apart of.

They are brothers in every sense of the word.

I love them with all my heart.

I would die for them.

And I can't wait to add more to the mix!

My little superheros

Saving my life one day at a time.

And yeah, that is the costume Izacc wore two years ago...yeah I know he's only 18 months old...yeah I know Izacc was well over 2 when he wore it...I KNOW I KNOW!!!