September 16, 2010

Identity Crisis

It occurred to me yesterday as I was doing laundry that I hate all my clothes. All of them. There is not one shirt in my closet that I like.

When we moved to Riverton I told Thom that my biggest fear was looking like I'm from Riverton. And by that I mean the people I saw walking around Walmart, which I know is not a fair judge because we all know that Walmart is it's own planet. But coming from Salt Lake to a little town was a little scary. I wasn't going to have the same "fashion show" when I people watch anymore.

Does that sound harsh? Not what I'm trying to say. What I mean is there's not a lot of opportunities to go clothing shopping here. There's not the everyday chance to see whats in fashion and what people are wearing. Not just because it's a small town and the "keeping up with the Jones'" syndrome is just not as prevalent, but also because I was making the transition form working mom to stay at home mom and I wasn't going to be seeing people on a day-to-day basis anymore. I was afraid of being out of the loop.

**DISCLAIMER** Not all people who live here dress like schlubs. In fact, most people here dress rather nicely. I was wrong to judge. Boo me!

Anyway, the point I'm getting at is I am worried I look like crap. Not just crap, but dog crap, which we all know is much worse! I feel like my biggest fear is being realized because I'm getting to the point of "I don't care, I'm just running to the store." Which is turning into, "Oh, I'm just going to drop Izacc off at school" and "I'm just going to mutual." And thus the dog crap looking commences.

I read Stephanie's post here and here and that's when it all clicked. I felt the same way! I wanted to do the same thing! And then yesterday's sad day of laundry solidified my decision.

So here's my realizations.

I am a bargain shopper. I buy cheap clothes. I will buy the same shirt in different colors if the price is right.

No seriously. What is that saying? "Dress for the job you want"? So I want to be a stripe-wearing bag lady?!

Cheap clearance shirts. They were always a little tight, so I hated them and hardly ever wore them except for under a vest or sweater.

Cheap cheap and cute-ish the first time I wore them. Then they shrink up into a square and I hate them. Never wear them.

Cute enough, but it's the same type of shirt I've been wearing since high school.

I bought these online, on clearance. I like that they are long, but again, the same old style. boring!

Old Navy.
Of course. Clearance central of the world! I should really know better. Honestly.

So let's do some math here. Wouldn't it be better to take the $130 I spent on the above crappy shirts I never wear and instead buy 3 or 4 nice shirts that I love? No really. Shirts that I will wear and look nice in and not feel like I'm a stripey old bag lady?!

I have 75 shirts hanging in my closet. And that doesn't count my winter clothes stored under my bed.

I dress like I'm three sizes bigger than I really am. I hide in my clothes. My pants fall off my butt because I'm worried about having a "muffin top". I still have maternity tops in my closet because my baby tummy is still squishy.

I have lost weight. I am at a good weight. Not ideal, but I look alright. I need to tighten and tone, especially in the middle. That's my laziness right there. Rather than fix the problem, I dress to hide it. Well, that day has come, jelly belly. Your days of ruining my life are over!

It's on, closet! Do your worst! I feel like I've had the same style clothes since I was in high school and I want a new look. I want a new wardrobe. I want to look nice instead of eeking by on a $3 Walmart special. I want to throw it all away and start over! I want to dress like I'm in my twenties, not like a grubby teenager. I want to look nice and kept and not like a schlub. My goal is to have 14 or so shirts I adore, instead of the 100+ ones I have that I hate. Clothes that look good on me and no more "Oh but it's only $5!"

I have found a website to aid me in my quest. My new best friend. Love love love. It's pretty awesome. You put in all your measurements and it helps you find the right look for your bod. Go there, you won't be sorry. I'm an M in case you were curious.

So here's to change! First was the hair, now onto the wardrobe! Here I go! I'm not even scared...well, maybe a little...

Oh and PS I am not above making my own clothes. In fact, I almost prefer it, that way I can get the fit just right. I have some darling fabric I found that I'm thinking about turning into a skirt? Maybe? Any suggestions?


Jena said...

I am totally in the same boat - I could have written this post - yikes! I mostly wear comfy clothes because I'm 'just' home all day and my closet proves it! The problem is, I HATE shopping. So I could use a new wardrobe as well but don't see that happening any time soon, especially since we're now in a smaller town than R-ton and have even less of a selection :-P Good luck - can't wait to see what you make with that fabric!

Stephanie said...

I so agree with you. You go girl! I'm proud of you for taking the step...I know it's a giant one! Don't turn back!

Robin said...

I'm right there with ya. I'm trying to do better, cause I am a cheapo as well. But I would rather have less quality pieces than a ton of ross and walmart crap. Here's to a new shopping IQ!

Lisa and Jacob said...

Seriously, same boat. Pretty soon we'll have to dress like 30 year olds! yikes!!

and I totally like Shaksoun! but I only go like once a year for a couple hours. And I hope your Dad's surgery goes ok! Scary stuff!!

tiburon said...

I am the exact same way!

I say go for the skirt. It is cute fabric!

And now I need to clean out my closet...