September 17, 2010

Friday Confessional: SHAKSOUN!

It's Friday again! My favorite day of the week. Not sure why exactly, seeing as how it basically means nothing anymore, but it's time to let it all out! Here we go.

  • Going to Jackson tomorrow.
  • (say it with a gruff French accent.
  • It sounds cool that way.)
  • No offense to anyone out there
  • but I hate Jackson.
  • I know hate is bad for my karma.
  • But seriously.
  • I have no love.
  • I get aggravated just driving through there.
  • All the tourists
  • and antlers
  • and contradictions.
  • Are you a cowboy town?
  • Or are you a hippie town?
  • Or are you a skiing rich people town?
  • I'm so confused!
  • Regardless of what you are, dear Jackson
  • I still have no love for you
  • and your tourists
  • and animals.
  • Okay so I don't mind the animals so much.
  • I kind of enjoy them.
  • It's the dumb turds who park their cars IN THE ROAD
  • that I have a problem with.
  • A major problem.
  • Oh Jackson,why?
  • How have you let this happen to you?
  • I remember when you were just a sweet little town
  • with a Maverik
  • and a Pamida.
  • I bought my first purse there.
  • For $2.
  • I can't even buy a soda for $2 now.
  • Oh Jackson.
  • No love.
  • If I have such ill feelings towards Jackson
  • why, dear Camie, are you going there you may be asking.
  • Well, I'll tell you.
  • My Daddy is having surgery,
  • Not a pleasant one at that.
  • He had a accident
  • it involved propane
  • and skin
  • and the loss of a finger.
  • They are amputating his pointer
  • and using it's good parts to save his thumb.
  • My poor, poor Daddy.
  • The last time I saw him, his fingers were, no kidding, black.
  • Whew!
  • No bueno.
  • Don't play around with propane, kids.
  • It's, apparently, a nasty, nasty biotch.
  • So we're going for moral support
  • and to bring the love
  • and some banana bread.
  • So, dear Jackson
  • please be kind to us tomorrow.
  • Try and keep the stupids off the road
  • and I'll try not to sneak up behind people on bikes
  • and blow air horns at them.
  • Funny as it may be.
  • Because people on bikes in Jackson piss me off.
  • But I'll try if you will.
So go read. And play. And have a wonderful weekend!



Jena said...

Jackson's crazy, isn't it! I hope your dad is okay - have a good trip, prayers to you all!

Jo said...

LADY! I HATE J-HOLE too!!! Except for the rad wildlife art museum. That place is cool. But I hate hospitals, doctors, surgeries, etc. :( Tell your mom and dad that we are thinking of them and hoping everything goes well. LOVE YOU!

Kimi said...

When I lived in Pinedale, I much preferred the Jackson to the Rock Springs. Eeek! Just the thoughts of RS make me feel like I need a shower. ASAP!

Kellie said...

That sucks about your Dad :( I say use the air horn- it will be too funny!