30 Days of Truth: Day 30

A LETTER TO YOURSELF, TELL YOURSELF EVERYTHING YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF.

A letter to myself.

Dear Camie-
I'd like to start off by saying how fabulous you look today, man you're smokin hot.  And if you don't believe me, well you should because you're totally smokin hot.
I have a few things I'd like to tell you about yourself that I love about you.  Ha ha well obviously you're freaking hilarious.  And quite sarcastic, in case you haven't noticed by now...

Alright, well seriously I love how strong you are.  You can do hard things, very hard things.  You have and almost obsessive nature to make sure things get done and done right.  You are a natural leader and you need to speak up once in awhile.  You are smart and funny and you really do have a lot to offer.  You are pretty cute and you're clothes are always too big.  You need to have more confidence and be proud of who you are and what you've accomplished.  You have beautiful kids and a fantastic hubby who love you and would do anything for you.  You are talented and have a lot of things to accomplish yet so take care of yourself.  And love yourself.  And be happy because you're the coolest kid I know.

Love ya bunches, Camie

30 Days of Truth: Day 29

SOMETHING YOU HOPE TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF AND WHY.

Yeah, as if there's only one thing I'd like to change.  I mean are we talking physical here or what?  Because I'd really like to have a booty.  I have flat butt.  And a smaller waist.  I have man belly.

But seriously, there is something I hope to change about myself and that would be to not let things get to me the way they do.  I worry so so much.  I worry about people and how they are and if they are doing good things and making right choices.  I worry I've offended people and my mind just goes crazy and every little thing adds up and it seriously gets out of hand.  I worry I annoy people and then, again with the crazy.  I worry and stress and take things personally that aren't even meant to be aimed at me.  Does that make any sense?  I hope I can get the crazy under control and just be able to live day to day without the worry that I said something that offended someone and that's why they won't return my text or that I annoy someone and now they won't want to even hang out anymore.  Seriously?!  It sounds so stupid when I write it out like this but really, in my mind, it goes on and I get carried away and assume  the worst and worry and stress.  It's a waste.  So I'm going to be done with that I've decided.  It is lame and I don't wanna be that way anymore.

So look out world!  Here comes the new, more confident Camie!  I'm not going to worry as much about stuff like when I don't hear from someone and worry that they are dead!  Or that my kids are super annoying and that's why we never get invited to play.  No more!  Here we go!  I hope I can do this...  

Yikes.

30 Days of Truth: Day 28

WHAT IF YOU WERE PREGNANT OR GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Okay so, well, the odds of me getting someone pregnant are slim to none, so if I got someone pregnant I'm guessing I'd be doing the talk show circut and become pretty famous.  The medical marval from Wyoming.  Awesome.

If I were pregnant, what would I do?  Well, first I'd be super nauseated all the time and nothing would sound good ever and even the smell of any cooking food would make me wanna loose my lunch.  Then I'd go to the doctor to make sure everything was alright and get a cute picture to take home and put on my fridge.  Then I'd tell some family and friends, you know, just a few.  Then I'd have a migraine headache for like a week only to find out that the medicine the Dr put me on causes headaches.  Then I'd gain some weight and get sad because I've worked so hard to get it off and I'm not even eating as much as I was before and yet the pounds are sneaking right back.  Then I'd probably freak out a little because the odds of me having another boy are pretty high and oh how much would I love to have a daughter.  And I's freak out because, uh, we're running out of room at our house at an alarming rate.  And I'd freak out because we're going to need a new car because there's no way of fitting three car seats into the back of the car we have now.   So I would wonder just what I would do about that because we are seriously so upside down in this stupid car it's ridiculous.  And then I would freak out a tad because, on the off chance that it was a girl, we would have to buy a whole new wardrobe for the little princess, seeing as all the baby clothes I have are blue and green and boy.  And I'd have to pay for the baby.  And I'd gain some more weight.  And I'd probably still be so SUPER nauseated that even water would make me sick.  And then I'd freak out because of all the freaking out and my head would be spinning because of all the freaking out.

And that about catches you up to where I am.

June 16, 2011.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

30 Days of Truth: Day 27

WHATS THE BEST THING GOING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW?


Hmm, I've really got it pretty good.  It might be hard for me to narrow it down to just one thing.  
I mean I get to stay home and play with my kids all day.  
I have a super amazing hubby who works his brains out in order for me to be able to do so.    
I have two kids who rock my socks most of the time.  Sometimes they're whiny and loud, but I sure love 'em.  
I have fantastic, fabulous friends who keep me sane and give me plenty of adult conversation.  I would be dead in the water without those girls.  Don't know how I got along without them for so long.  
I have a family who loves me and takes care of me when I need it.  My parents, brothers and sisters-in-law, Gramma, cousins, aunts and uncles, in laws, seriously the best family a girl could ask for.  
And it's Christmastime!!  I love love this time of year and I am so excited for this year for some reason.  Everything is more exciting and fresh and I'm seriously stoked.

So what's the best thing going for me right now?  Gosh, I just don't even know where to start.

30 Days of Truth: Day 26

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT GIVING UP ON LIFE?  IF SO, WHEN AND WHY?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure we've all wanted a way out at one time or another.

I can remember specifically one night.  I was a teenager and I was so so sad.
I thought I was fat and I wanted a boyfriend and couldn't get one and so I figured I was super ugly and my home life wasn't perfect and I really can't remember what was so dramatic that I wanted to end it all but I really did.

I can remember praying that God would just take me home and I could be out of the pain and sadness.  And I seriously thought about doing it myself but then I realized that I probably wouldn't go to heaven if I did.  And then I realized my mom wasn't ready for me to leave yet.  And my brothers and grandparents would be so sad and miss me a lot.

So anyway, moral of the story is that I didn't.  There was always a bigger something worth living for.  And I always thought about how sad my mom and friends would be if I was gone.  And it always kept me here.

And truth be told, my life wasn't bad at all.  I really can't think about what was so bad that would make me even consider ending it.  And maybe that's why.  Me just being hormonal and sad and maybe a little silly.

Thanks for always keeping me here.

30 Days of Truth: Day 25

THE REASON YOU BELIEVE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE TODAY

Uh because I haven't been struck down down by a horrible deadly disease yet knock on wood.

What the heck kind of question is this!?

No really.  I'm still alive because I'm not dead.

And when I'm dead, I'll be dead.

Sorry, no posting from the great beyond.

However, how freakin cool would THAT be?!

Yeah, I gotta find a way to make it happen.

I'll have been dead a week or a month or so and then all of a sudden WHAMO!

Blog post from me.

And it will be all about heaven and how sweet it is and how much Maverik Frozen Yogurt is up there.

And how smokin hot my body is now.

But what if you can't read it because heaven's WIFI is no bueno.

So it;s all encrypted and just a bunch of nonsense.

Like this:

sdhfuiewehuf&&&@)ndjakwO!) uufejkwjdenUG^^^*#EHdjsiqn@e(en#*ru#**#(@@(!))!)!n JEI N298R

Spooky.


So look for that.

I'm pretty sure I'll be able to make it happen.

Because if there's Maverik Frozen Yogurt up there, there's got to be a way for me to post on my blog, am I right?

Right.




Okay, well the reason I believe I'm still around is because my kids would make horrible orphans and they fo shizzle need their mama.

I gotta big job ahead of me.

And that's why I'm still alive.


But seriously.

There are a few questions I have when I get up there.

Like where the freak is Amelia Earhart?

And why are there earwigs?

And what the crap is with armpits?

And as soon as I ask the burning questions, expect a post from me.

dfhukjse dschsk ksdfc slcjslcndofsjlfc jdlfcsdjf s

Better start learning how to encode now.

30 Days of Truth: Day 24

MAKE A PLAYLIST TO SOMEONE, AND EXPLAIN WHY YOU CHOSE ALL THE SONGS

Ha you'd think I'd be super good at this one.  But I have no idea what to do here.  I mean, music is such a personal thing and a song I adore could be annoying to someone else.  Plus I'm away from home and my music is on my home computer... Okay well, first let's figure out who I'm making said playlist for.  Let's say I'm making a playlist for someone to explain who I am?  Would that be a goos one?  Alright.  Done.

Money, Money, Money by Abba- I adore Abba, I have ever since I was a child listening to my Mom's records.  And this song is one of my favorites.  Just awesome.
Beautiful Lie by 30 Seconds to Mars- I know, you don't have to tell me.  But I can't help it, this song just speaks to me, it always has.  I lurve it and probably always will.
I Will by The Beatles- Really, anything by the Beatles, but this one is an all time favorite.  The Beatles have really been a huge part of my life since my early, early teens and I have so many fond memories from those times.  Ahh, those long bus trips with my Walkman.  I know, I was so cool.
Breath by Breaking Benjamin- This band has some kind of power over me, I seriously can't get enough.  But this song in particular is so powerful and it's really a good sort of love song.  And I could listen to it over and over and over.  And I want to lick the lead singer's face a little.
Any Dave Matthews Band Song- I know, cheating.  But it's honestly like asking me to choose my favorite kid.  I love all the Dave Matthews Band songs...well not all of them, but the list of the ones I don't like would be way short.  So yes.  Moving on.
Come Original by 311- Just a feel good party song.  When I was in college, it was our "Hump day" song, which means we would play it really loud on Wednesdays while we jumped on the beds...what?  Isn't that what everyone did?
The Distance by Evan and Jaron- Thom and I were apart for a lot of our relationship.  This song basically sums up how I felt about the whole situation.  It still makes me cry to this day.
I Will Buy You A New Life by Everclear- How cool would it be to have someone love you that much?  I mean I happen to have someone who does, but this song is just a sweet little love song that I love.
The Way I Am by Ingrid Michaleson- How cute is this song?  No really.  I like Ingrid a ton, but I adore this song.  Its sweet and fun and full of love and a little sexy.  No?
Don't Stop The Music by Jamie Cullum- Have you heard this guy?!  He's amazing.  He is such a phenomenal musician and when I feel like getting my jazz on, he's right there.  But wait!  That's not a jazz song!  That's a Rihanna song!  And Radiohead!  And isn't that from a musical?  But wait!  It's all jazzy and whatnot!  Seriously, fantastic.
You and I by Jason Mraz- I am just a big ol' sucker for the love songs I suppose. This one is a classic I suppose, but man oh man can that Jason Mraz write the crap out of those songs!!
Read My Mind By The Killers- Brandon Flowers can read my mind anytime.  And when he does he'll probably see some pretty naughty thoughts.  Ha ha oh I kid, I kid...mostly...
The Sun by Maroon 5- I bought this album way before Maroon 5 was cool.  I mean I bought it and listened to it was was blown away with what was going on musically.  Holy crap those guys are insane amazing musicians!  Plus, hi, can someone please tell me how to slip sex into coffee?  Because that has got to be a fantastic trick.
Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson- There is nothing like cranking a little Michale Jackson and dancing your brains out, I don't care who you are!
Supermassive Black Hole by Muse- Ahh, there is just something about a song that is both sexy and sensual and kind of a slam at the same time.  You gotta love it!  LOVE IT!!
Say (All I Need) by OneRepublic- The melody of this song makes my heart happy.  I can't tel you what it is exactly, but the first time I heard this song I was sold.  It is just beautiful melodically and the lyrics are pretty thought provoking as well.
Excess Baggage by Staind- This song got me through a few of the roughest times of my life.  It raw and honest and stripped down to nothing but the honest truth.  Man oh man, Staind knows how to do it right.
Red Ragtop by Tim McGraw- I do dive into the country now and again.  And this man can sing a song right.  And this song is kinda sad and sweet at the same time.  And it's funny that it's about a girl being pregnant the first time her mother meets her boyfriend and my brother suggested it be sung at my wedding. And that is hilarious.
Drops of Jupiter by Train- There was a time when I wasn't exaclty sure what I was going to do with my life and this song sort of helped me find my way.  I know, it sounds silly, but listen a little closer next time, you might catch it.
At Last by Etta James- This little ditty makes me happy.  I love love and I love happy.
Closer by Nine Inch Nails- What?  This is sort of Thom and my song.  No really!  We danced to it right before we kissed for the first time.  Ha ha it sounds so stupid to say that!  But it's true.  And it has a nasty theme and naughty words, but I have the version where the naughty words are bleeped out by the Mario Brother's shooting sound.  So it is all good.

30 Days of Truth: Day 23

SOMETHING YOU WISH YOU HAD DONE IN YOUR LIFE

I'm pretty pleased with the way my life has turned out so far.  There's really not a whole lot that I wish I would have done.  There are a few things that I wonder about though.  I mean, stuff that I wonder what it would have been like had I done them.  But it's not like I lay awake at night regretting not doing them, just so we're clear here.

I wish I would have gone to Montana and worked with Missoula Children's Theatre.  It was always a dream of mine and I just never did it.

I wish I would have finished school before I had kids.  But, the thing is, I really didn't know what I wanted to do until after I had kids.  So...kind of a catch 22 there.

I wish I would have kept my hair long after I got married.  I was far too fat to be sporting such a short do.  Ug, those pictures haunt me.

I wish I would have been more appreciative of my Gramma Izatt while she was alive.  I was kind of a shy and quiet kid and I didn't really appreciate my Gramma.  I miss her and wish I would have realized what I had in her.

Yeah, that's about all I've got.  Nothing too life shattering.  Or is it earth shattering.  Either way, I basically love my life and wouldn't wanna change a thing.

30 Days of Truth: Day 22

SOMETHING YOU WISH YOU HADN'T DONE IN YOUR LIFE.  


Yikes.  Anyone want to meet the skeletons in my closet?  Well come on in!


No really.  There are a lot of things I could put here.  A lot.  And most of them could potentially change the way a few of you look at me.  Things that may or may not surprise you about me.


So if you love me just the way I am you'd better stop reading now lest your views be ever changed.  


Still here?  Alrighty, lets go.


I wish I hadn't been so unconditionally trusting in people.
I wish I hadn't been so unhappy alone that I always felt I needed a boyfriend.
I wish I hadn't  been so unhappy with the way I looked that I felt the need to starve myself and other such nasty self hating things.
I wish I had never taken that first sip of alcohol.
I wish I hadn't blown off my mom's advice.
I wish I hadn't been the one who couldn't keep their mouth shut.
I wish I hadn't been so quick to judge.
I wish I hadn't been so afraid of confrontation that I lied, only to make things much worse down the road.
I wish I hadn't given in so quickly.
I wish I hadn't been the one to act a fool.
I wish I hadn't felt like I needed to be right there.
I wish I hadn't stopped and changed course.
I wish I hadn't pretended to be someone I'm not.


I'm sorry for being so cryptic here.  It would be the world's longest post if I went into each and every one of these.  For real.  And I know it looks like I regret a lot of stuff, but some of them deal with the same thing...a little.


Anyway if you really want to know about anything, just ask.  I'm pretty much an open book here.


I'm positive that each and every statement above happened for a reason and has formed me into the rockin' mama I am, so for that I am grateful.  


I guess I wish the road from there to here would have been a little less rocky.


But then again, would I be who I am if there had been no bumps at all?  


Gosh, this is all too deep for a Monday night.  I'd better get outta here!

30 Days of Truth: Day 21

YOUR BEST FRIEND IS IN A CAR ACCIDENT RIGHT AFTER YOU TWO FIGHT.  WHAT DO YOU DO?

Ha well this question is a hoot because I don't generally fight with my best friends.  I don't fight with my friends in general.  I usually save my fights for family.  I know, giving the least to those who matter most, you don't have to tell me.

Okay, well, let's suppose my best friend IS in a wreck after we have a fight.  I would feel so guilty. Oh so very guilty.  And I would cry a lot.  And I would seriously be right there, at the scene, hospital, anywhere.  I'm kind of a baby like that.  

This question kinda sucks because I really don't want to think about anyone I love getting hurt.  Know that I would be very sad and apologetic and  be there to do anything for them.

But enough of this sad nonsense!  It's the holiday season!  Allow me now to distract you with this instead...

Now SHE need to be my best friend.