I Hate This Part Right Here

You know, when you’re cruising along, minding your own business and suddenly you see a photo of yourself and go “Hey!  What the? Who has been photoshopping my head onto the body of a giant fat lady?!?!  Oh wait…aw, crap.”

It’s officially time to change up the routine here.  I guess I’ve been justifying my extra elle bees on baby weight, but um, guess who’s about to turn 10 months old?  You guessed it, my fat baby-less butt!  I’ve been “without child” for longer than I was with child and the pounds have yet to make themselves scarce. I know some people lose weight fast when they’re nursing, but I am NOT one of those lucky ones! 

The question is what to do and how to do it.  I’ve done South Beach twice.  Once pre-Izacc and once post-Izacc.  First time I had amazing results.  I lost 50 pounds in about 3 months.  It was amazing.  But wait, I don’t think you REALLY understand how bad it was.  Okay, let’s go back a ways and review.  Please don’t be afraid, but this could get graphic.

Camie, July 2004.  Even looking back now, I’m like “who is that?!?  Oh wait…”

 

Camie, October 2004.  I mean, obviously it was Halloween.  Not like I walk around looking like that everyday…erm…anymore…

March 2005.  A change in haircolor is a good first step to looking somewhat NORMAL again.

July 2005, the DAY before I started South Beach…and not a moment too soon…

Two weeks and fifteen pounds later.  Yeah, I know.  You’re thinking '”15 pounds in two weeks?  Come on!”  But it went really fast that first time.

 

August 2005, looking much better.  And yes, I did own more clothes than that pink skirt, just a freaky little coincidence, thank you.  PS could I stand a little more awkwardly?!

 

Okay, so here I am in October 2005, 3 months later and 50 lbs lighter.  I was buying clothes in a much smaller size than I ever thought possible and I was wearing them too!

See?  Doesn’t this look much better

 

than this?

Now in all fairness, I do realize that the hair has a lot to do with it and as it got longer, the better I started looking.  But still this looks WAY better

  

than THIS…ish.  I know, I’m a weirdo.  This was Halloween too I swear!

 

Here I am at my thinnest…

And a mere 9 months later…BLA DOW! 

Baby.  Granted I did lose a lot in the hospital but4 months of FMLA and NOTHING to do will sure pack it back on!

So here we go again.

Only this time I had a baby to hid in front of it…

So I went on South Beach again.  The second time, however, it took a little longer and I ended up losing about 30 pounds, 10 away from where I was the first time, but I think I looked alright.

There I got my body back.  It really did take longer, in fact, the striped shirt is on Izacc’s first birthday…and what the crap is up with my creeper smiles?  I look like the joker or something!

I know, such a flattering picture.  But not the point.  The point is I was about 10 pounds away from my fightin’ weight

 

when BLAMO…

Baby again.

SO here I sit.  Nowhere near where I was the first two times I endured South Beach, but still over where I want to be.

Check out our twin double chins.  Cute on baby. not so much on Mommy.

I can’t find any pictures to prove my point exactly though, probably because I hide from the camera and delete any unflattering ones. 

Not really how I want to live.

I don’t really want to think about doing South Beach again.  I mean, I know it works, but I get so bored! 

I’ve tried Change One, but I have a hard time with thinking for myself.

Did the Special K challenge, and did lose a few, but really can’t survive on cereal and protein shakes for life.

So any good suggestions out there?  Anyone wanna come kick my sorry hiney outta bed at 5am to go running?  Any suggestions would be MORE than welcome, because, as you can see, we need all the help we can get around here.

 

And by we I mean me and B.o.b. 

(aka my Big Ol’ Butt)

Excuse me, please

I feel the need to put my serious pants on for a minute and tackle something that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

I am a stay at home mom. By choice. I have a degree, as well as a license in cosmetology. I have worked outside the home. I used to manage a salon. I worked as a customer service rep for a great company with amazing benefits. In fact, when I had my first baby, Thom and I didn’t pay a cent for him. NOT.A.CENT. I was in a union. They took care of me.

I walked away from a job where I was making more than my husband.

With better benefits.

To stay at home with my child.

What kinda crazy person would do such a thing? I’m glad you asked.

When we moved to Wyoming, the major reason was to allow me to stay at home with our kid(s). Granted, Thom did have some issues to work out and dreams to chase, but the underlying fact was that it was cheaper to live out here so he would be able to support us with his one income.

Things worked out. I stayed with my parents for 6 months while he prepared out home 4 hours away. Not an easy thing to do for either one of us, but we made it work.

So I stayed home. I soon realized that just being a mom was more work than I’d ever done at any job ever. It’s not like I got to clock out at 5 and go home, I was already there. There was always something to clean, something to fix, someone who needed attention. It was the hardest job I’d ever had…and I was LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

Time passed, we expanded our family, prices went up, gas went up, we changed cars, we let people live with us, we fixed up our house, we budgeted, we survived.

My husband is now regretting the decision we made 3 years ago to move out here. He is very unsatisfied and disillusioned with a job that promised a lot more than they could deliver. In addition to that, they cannot/will not increase his salary.

Not a problem, I say. I have training in many fields, I can go back to work. The MAIN reason I got my cosmetology license was to be able to work anywhere. People ALWAYS need haircuts, they don’t always need you to sing them a song. So I decided it was time for me to re-enter the workforce.

Then something amazing happened. My husband said no. Not a chance. I’m not sure if it was his pride or the fact that being left in charge of two kids alone scared the crap out of him. (I’m kidding) But he wouldn’t let me.

I saw a sign advertising help wanted and got to thinking. I could work nights, after the kids were in bed, and that way no one would even know I was gone. You would have thought I suggested selling my body for money (which by the looks of things lately, would not have made us NEARLY enough!)

My husband explained that it was more important to him for his children to be raised by their mother. Simple as that.

My husband’s mom worked. A lot. She’s a RN. So he went to his grandma's every day. And he has a lot of reasons we won’t go into here why he’d rather I raise the children.

Long story short, he got the job at our beloved Wally World. Two days before I had our second baby. So he works at job #1 all day and then comes home for an hour and goes to job #2.

And I stay at home with the kids. All day and night. Alone.

Does it suck? Yes. Would I change it if I could? Yes! Could I go to work? Totally. I am more than willing to get a job outside the home. 100% Do I miss my hubby? Yes. Do I feel guilty about the whole situation? Yeah I do. It’s not fair to him, not at all. But his job #1 has him traveling out of town a lot, so any chance of me being able to hold regular hours anyway is out the window.

He works so hard and it’s a really hard time for all of us. We try not to complain. It does suck, but here’s the thing. Job #2 is just us working on paying off some bills. It’s not because we’re living beyond our means, it’s not because we HAVE to have that second paycheck. We’re trying to pay off loans and bills so we can have a better, more financially free life.

I’m sorry to feel the need to justify our decisions, but I think people look at us and get a little confused. Don’t think I’m forcing my hubby to slave away while I chill at the house.

But the bottom line is I don’t want to miss this

I don’t want someone else to get to watch my kids grow up. I don’t want someone else to get to see my babies hit milestones and develop. I don’t want someone else to get to hang out with my kids all day while I work and I am BLESSED enough to have a husband who will work his tail off to make that possible for me. Some mommies don't get to. Some have to work and put their children in the care of someone else. I am one lucky lady who gets on her knees every night to give her thanks to a Father in Heaven for giving her such a wonderful hubby and that the situation allows us to do the things we do.

I am not lazy.

I am not selfish.

I am not at home all day sitting on my butt eating bon bons.

I do not take anything for granted.

I am a mother.

And I’m going to miss this when it’s gone.

So I don’t want to miss a second of it while I have the chance to soak it all in.

Wordless Wednesday

Dear Daddy pt. 2

Hey Dad. It’s me again. So how is your work?

Well, Mom must have not gotten enough sleep last night because she was grumpy! I don’t understand!

All I did was draw her some people on my wall.

And the floor mat.

And my arms and legs…and mirror and door…

Thanks for leaving your super permanent marker on your nightstand, by the way. It wouldn’t have been possible without you!

Then Mom was changing Ian’s diaper, so I decided to make some scrambled eggs. I got a little egg on my hand, but it was okay.

I went and told mom, “I’m making scrambled eggs. Do you want one?”

Well, she freaked out again!

She calmed down when she saw that I put it in the pan all by myself and I even threw the shell in the garbage too. I think she thought I had cracked it onto the counter or something. Come on, what am I? 2? Sheesh. Well, I let her cook it for me so she wouldn’t be mad that I had done it ALL by myself!

Well, after I ate my egg, I had a bowl of cereal with milk! And I kept dripping all over myself, so I took my clothes off. Ahh, that was better. But you know how Mom feels about me being nakkie

So I got dressed.

Mom got me dressed too. Twice, but I didn’t like what she picked out. So I took it off…twice. And I changed my underwear…three times. Mom just did laundry, Dad, and so all my favorites were clean again! I couldn’t decide which ones to wear, so I just wore all of them!

Mom said I needed to do something constructive, so we made a construction site with my trucks and some sprinkle noodles!

It was really fun and Mom was so proud of me!

But I dumped the sprinkle noodles on the floor in the living room and kitchen and Mommy got grumpy again!

Me and Ian had a dance party in the living room too.

He just wanted to play with his toys after a while though.

We cleaned the bathroom.

And while Mom was in there cleaning, I had a letter celebration! For some reason, Mom just shook her head this time.

Then we had dinner.

I ate my whole dinner! Ian did too

And don’t worry, Dad. We finished off those brownies for you.

Mom gave me a poster to draw on and look what I did!

We really miss you.

Well Dad. Mommy says she’s tired. I don’t know what she’s tired for! I’m the one who didn’t take a nap today and whew! I’m beat!

Talk to you tomorrow, okay? We love you.

Ian says “bwa” which means he does too.

Miss you!

Goodnight!