There's A First Time For Everything

Well, well, well.

Guess what my big fat butt did this morning!!

If you guessed slept in, well, my friend, you would be incorrect.

Me and my BOB ran our first 5K!

(BOB would be my Big Ol' Butt for those of you not in the know)

Get out of town, right!? Who is this girl you ask!?

It's me, baby!  

Well, the new me anyway.  

The old me thought running was for suckers and that it would most definitely be the end of me if I were to try to run.  

In 6th grade, I HAD to run the mile.  I think I did it in 12 minutes.  

And thought my life was over.

In high school I was in track, but I was a thrower.  

We had to run 2 laps every practice. 

I dropped out.

Well look at me now.

I've still got some post baby chub.

I'm tall and awkward and the complete opposite of graceful and athletic.

But guess what ya'll?! 

I did it!

I DID IT!!!

All you haters can suck it!  

 And I'm talking to you 6th grade and high school me(s)!

Go sit down and think about boys or something.  

Here's how it all went down...

My cousin Stuart, his sister Sarah, and their Mom Sue all signed up to run the 5K and I am so glad they did!  It was awesome to be there with people I love!

Here we are, doing a little pre-run laughing.  You know that's important, right?!  Forget stretching out those calves and thighs.  The belly laughs are where it's at.

I THINK this is Stuart's game face...although it could just be gas...

It was 7 am and Sarah was more that happy to be up and going...

Yeah, uh, I got nothin' here...this could be gas too...

My awesome Aunt Sue, who I learned today has quite the running past.  She's awesome.  Oh I already said that?  Okay well, she is so deal with it!

These are my adoring fans, so dedicated that they woke up super early and hauled their tiny butts out to eat granola bars and whine.

It's a tough gig, being my fan, but they're pretty great at it.

Here we are learning "Da Rulz"

A quick prayer and we're off!

Lap one went well.  I was good.  Life was good.  My new special running clothes were giving me the wedgie of my life.

Lap two: a little tricky, starting to contemplate hiding around the corner and just jumping out at the last minute and finishing in with the speedsters.  Also, why does all running clothing decide to head north in the event of a little southern movement??!

Sarah looks pro.  I think this needs to be a Nike ad.

Stuart.  STUART!!

He crushed it!  He even hurt his back earlier in the week and he just rocked it like a boss!

Lap three: Cursing late night munchies from last night and considering making a pact with the Devil to get me out of this situation I am in.  And then I noticed that approx. half of the runners we started with were done and having delicious Gatorade and bananas.  Boo.  Also, my Ipod between my cleavage was creating a strange pool of sweat...ahem.  And I look like a frog.  And my pants and I were on a break.

Last lap: done.  Don't care about anything else but making it to the end.  Even if there were a bunch of dirty, dirty cheaters out there running with me...you know who you are!

Donezo.  Finish line!

Seriously donezo.

I ran my first 5K in 37:40.

It was a 3.73 mile course and that means I ran 10 minute miles!

SUCK IT 6th GRADE ME!!  

Bwa ha ha ha ha!!!

Yeah buddy!

Here comes Sarah...and Stuart!

Yay!!

So that was it!  We all did it and it was actually kind of fun.  What am I saying?!  Who AM I!?!

Would you like to know the secret of my success??

I'd be more than willing to share if you promise not to judge.

My little secret would be my super awesome playlist my Ipod I created.

I had a whole bunch of tried and true songs that I'd been testing out for weeks.

But in the 11th hour, I switched up the scene and added some new ones to the mix.

And just put the ol' 'pod on shuffle.

Would you like to hear the mega super awesome pump-you-up playlist my Ipod created for me?!

Okay.  Here's what I ran to in the order of their appearance:

Not kidding, #1 was Eye Of The Tiger.  (My Ipod has the best sense of humor ever!)

#2 Hey Ya by OutKast  (Shake it like a Polaroid Picture)

#3 Pain by Three Days Grace (Yup, fitting I know)

#4 Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machines (It's a way good song to run to.  Try it!)

#5 Good Life by OneRepublic  (It was a great moment, actually)

#6 Everybody Talks by Neon Trees  (I sorta wanted to die during this song)

#7 Billionaire by Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars  (I DO want to be a billionaire!)

#8 Fire To The Rain by Adele (Ah Adele) 

#9 I'm Yours/Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Straight No Chaser (I think I was hallucinating at this point)

#10 Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon  (I ran through the sprinklers, you know, because I was on fire.)

#11 Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely) by Pink (I was almost done...and lonely)

And finishing it off, #12 Cowboy by Kid Rock (DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!  You know you love this song!)

So there you go.  My big secret: an awesome playlist to keep your spirits up.

Oh and training since March.  

But you know, technicalities.

I can't wait to do it again.  And I know my time wasn't that great but ya gotta start somewhere, right?!  At least it's a start!

My Own Way

I ran a 5K today.

My very very first one in my whole life EVER!

I'll post some pictures of the day's events later.

But today was kind of a big deal, and I wanted to explain why.

A year ago today was Miss Amelia's due date.

She came 5 days early, thank heavens, but it's still funny to think about.

Tomorrow is Father's Day.

It might be a rough one.

But let's talk about today.

No wait, let's start a year ago today so I can explain how I got from there to here.

A year ago today I had a brand new baby girl.

Life was good.

Really good.

My life was amazing in fact.

I had a best friend who I talked to every day.

I had the sweet baby girl that I'd been dreaming of forever. 

It was summer and life was beautiful.

Mostly.

After I had Amelia I gained some weight.

I am one of those lucky women who don't LOSE weight while nursing and actually GAIN it.

Awesome, I know.

Try not to be too jealous.

But ah well.  No matter.  It would work it's way out, like it always does.

Fast forward 5 months.

My husband got a new job.

And he moved to Utah.

And I stayed in Riverton with 3 kids.

And it was stressful.

And then we packed all our crap in boxes and put it in a storage shed.

And moved in with my sweet Gramma to live in her basement.

And put our house for sale.

And waited.

And waited.

And it was stressful.

And then our dog Zoe died.

And I was sad.

And stressed.

And unhappy.

And the thought occurred to me that enough was enough and it was time to lose some weight.

And I thought, 'meh, maybe running would be a good way to shed some pounds.'

And as I watched some more TV and sat on the couch, I thought about it some more.

And then there was a call from above...er something.

My Gramma's stake was putting on a 5K in June.

And I thought about MAYBE trying to run it.

Maybe.

But I hated running.

Stupid high school track.

Also I was a mother of three and finding time was going to be hard.

But I thought about it some more.

I decided I'd just jump in with both feet.

But I'd need some shoes.

And an Ipod.

And the right kind of clothes.

And I couldn't possibly start until I had all those things.

But I signed up for the 5K anyway.

And didn't tell anyone.

My little secret.

I figured we'd have our house sold by then and possibly be in our own house, but I could always come back and run it!

One day in March, we went to Logan to go sledding and then we went to a sports store.

I just happened to be looking around the running shoes and playing around with the thought of actually getting a real pair of shoes.

And another sign came down from above.

I was looking at the shoes that were on sale.

There was 1 pair of size 10s.

So I opened them up

And I heard angels singing.

They were black and hot pink.

The only pair in the store.

The only size 10.

I had to get them.

So I did.

And then 2 days later, my Dad died.

And the sadness spiral came back with a vengeance.

I was really sad.

I was really stressed.

I was really unhappy.

And I ate a lot more than any human should ever consume.

Eating makes the sadness go away...

Not really, but when you're in the throes there's no stopping it.

And I was more depressed than I have ever been in my entire life.

EVER.

And so I ran.

I'd walk Izacc to school and run back.

I ran on Gramma's treadmill.

Then I started doing the unthinkable.

Unthinkable I say!

I started getting up before my family and running.

And it was sort of like magic.

I wasn't running to lose weight anymore.

I wasn't running to get ready for the 5K in June.

I was running from the pain.

I was running from the sadness.

I was running to be alone with my thoughts and memories of Dad.

And guess what?

It was hard.

It sucked getting up to go out into the cold when the baby had been up most of the night.

It sucked looking in the mirror and seeing basically no results.

It sucked feeling no motivation at all.

But I kept going.

I had to relax and stop worrying what I looked like or how fast I was going or how freaking tired I was.

Or sad I was.

I started praying before I'd run.

And asking for the help I needed to keep going.

And got stronger.

And ran longer and farther.

And I let go of all the worries.

And suddenly I didn't feel as sad anymore.

And I didn't want to eat the world anymore.

And the fact that our house wasn't selling wasn't as stressful anymore.

Magic.

So here I am today.

My Dad died and it SUCKS!

I'm still overweight.

Our house isn't selling and we're basically throwing our money down the drain waiting for it.

Zoe was the best dog anybody could ask for ever.

We're living in Gramma's basement, cozy and tight and raising her electric and water bills.

But guess what?!

I am content.

I am at peace.

And I am happy.

We're living life on this roller coaster and all the ups and downs and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be learning from all of this.  

But a bloggy friend of mine said it best in a post she recently wrote and it really hit me over the head.

She was talking about how once she went tubing down the river and was freaking out and struggling and worried and panicking and fell out.  And she looked around at everyone and saw that they were all relaxed and actually enjoying the ride.  So she stopped worrying and relaxed and she said that the "raging river became a peaceful stream once I quit fighting it."

Quit fighting it.

Quit fighting it!

So simple.

So I did.  

And I have.  

And I have sad days.  

And bad days.  

But I was missing my life while I wallowed in my sad pool of pity.

And I didn't want to miss anymore.

My baby is one.

My Izacc is going to be a first grader.

My Ian is busy being 3.

And I will not miss one more day worrying or feeling sorry for myself.

So today was about more than just running 3.whatever miles.

It's been a journey.

An actual personal journey.

And I'm by no means out of the woods yet.

But I'm going to keep running and going and trying

And putting my trust in the one who knows how all the chips are going to fall and when they're going to fall and why.

He's got it covered.

I'm not freaking out anymore.

I've quit fighting it.

And it's getting good...again.